omg is it your first GDC? ARE YOU HERE AND ALONE AND WEEPING AND SHY AND ALONE AND OH GOD wait no you’re not alone here is a handy dandy guide for youououuouo
dont EVER pay for parties, if theres a party you HAVE TO PAY FOR you wont know anyone there and all you’re paying for is to wait in line to play a game or to turn in your drink ticket (THAT YOU HAVE TO TIP FOR SO OOPS THE DRINKS ARENT ACTUALLY FREE, YES BARTENDERS GET TIPS TOO)
also if you’re only getting ONE drink ticket they’re just suckering you in to pay wayyyy too much for booze
if you’re forced to PAY for a pass, dont get any pass other than an expo pass. IF YOURE NOT INVITED TO GDC TO SPEAK DONT WHINE ABOUT MISSING TALKS THAT YOU THINK ARE IMPORTANT your friends will show you all the good talks on the vault, and they usually release the best panels for free ANYWAY.
the only reason you have a buisness card is so you can give it to people you dont want to talk to
okay its not the only reason, buisiness cards are kind of handy and they dont really cost much to make! but seriously, if some fucking PR nut is jabbering on about some stupid blinn phong approximation and you just want to leave be like, OH I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO HERES MY CARD dont be polite, if you dont care about what the person is saying its pretty obvious they dont care about you hahaah
like seriously. your time is important. EVEN IF THE BIG IMPORTANT THING YOU HAVE TO GO TO is wandering around aimlessly or maybe even laying down DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM AND TAKING A NAP. your time is IMPORTANT and they have allllllllllllll the time in the world to email you their inane bullshit later.
on the expo floor, get a bag and JUST GRAB THINGS, DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO TALK TO DOUCHEBAGS, TAKE WHATEVER USELESS SWAG YOU WANT
DONT be without a CLIPPER CARD, IT WILL REDUCE 90 PERCENT OF YOUR CONFUSION they sell them at walgreens and bart stations
on the expo floor the only place that matters is the igf area, all the people who will give you the time of day are there, they are the PCS, everyone else are bullshit NPCS who want to innudate you with advertisements and stupid hype speeches in exchange for their swag
DONT STALK YOUR FAVORITE GAME DESIGNER they’re just lame dudes like you and me
if you’re tired just walk back and forth a lot and collect energy drinks
also those 5 hour energy shots work fucking wonders, seriously i am a lazy freelancer and gdc is 5 DAYS OF 9-5 MADNESS you will get tired!
oh! SHOES! WEAR FUCKING COMFORTABLE SHOES YOU YES YOU THAT WANTS TO LOOK SO CUTE no no no no no put you insoles in and BE READY TO WALK
DONT EAT AT THE MALL OR T HE DINER OR DENNYS DONT EAT SHIT FOOD THE BUS FARE TO GO TO GOOD CHEAP FOOD IS 1/10TH OF THE PRICE OF THE SHITTY FOOD YOU’RE EATING FOR DINNER
okay so like you can hop on the 38L or the 38 ON MARKET STREET and take it to JAPANTOWN OMG WOWZERS JAPAN RIGHT? no the food is good and affordable and its literally a 15 minute bus ride
ALTERNATIVELY you can hop on bart and ride it to the mission (16th street stop or 24th street stop) where the BURRITOS ARE BIGGER ADN THE FOOD IS CHEAPER AND THERES BOOKSTORES AND OH GOD you can breathe
DONT go to the death star bar, its like 12 dollars for a rum and coke, and its crowded and sweaty and you can get the view from any hill in the mission. GO TO A LIQUOR STORE AND FILL A WATER BOTTLE WITH YOUR FAVORITE MIXED DRINK
DONT be afraid to come up to me, DAPHNY DAVID official pr of auntiepixelante corp because you’re afraid, I WANT TO SAVE YOU FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. FIND ME! I WILL HELP FOR YOU