Monthly Archives: May 2010
belle putnam makes me uncomfortable
AHHHH TOTAL AND COMPLETE BULLSHIT i hate fucking meeting people WHINE WHINE MOAN BITCH MOAN INSECURE BITCHING
I HATE TALKING TO EVERYONE ONLINE EBCAUSE I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SUCH A NUISANCE NAD BEIN GLIKE THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON EVER DOESNT HELP MY CONFIDENCE BECUASE I FUCKING BLAB TOO MUCH TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALY LIKE ME
SHUT UP DAPHNY
SHUT UP DAPHNY
SHUT UP DAPHNY SHUT UP DAPHNY
suehiro maruo was painting me a pORTRAIT for my birthday and he made me eat worms and pose with wild and exotic animals and drill holes in my skin and hang upside down from a ceiling fan that was on and IT WAS SO GOOD IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL it was like eight feet tall BUT WHEN I WOKE UP IT WAS GONE
joey showed up at my house today, dressed like me, two weeks early for my birthday party
NOW THATS ENTHUSIASM
BUT HE WAS WRONG
IT WAS NOT TONIGHT
ITS TWO WEEKS FROM NOW ON JUNE 12TH are you still going are you getting me a present you should make me something unless you can find me that weird fucking mask women used in the 80s to electrically shock their face into being young again
im going to be at a con tomorrow that had to warn about running out of 3x and 4x tshirts tehy were selling
IM GOING TO LOSE ALL MY EUROGAME WOODEN BOARD PIECES IN MENS ROLLS
that should be a boardgame in itself, itd be operation but ‘you cant play any games until you fish them out from these sweaty hairy beasts’ so you could get PUMPED UP and even if the game you play sucks you can always fall back on WELL AT LEAST IT WAS BETTER THAN BLINDLY REACHING INTO FLESH CREVICES
or im just going to suffocate in a sea of fat
an OCEAN OF LARD
this fucking dog wont stop licking my elbow
i wont sotp writing in my livejouranl until she stops licking my elbow FUCK NOW I HAVE TO FILL THE SPACE WITH PERSONAL THOUGHTS
holy shit i didnt say anything for like a minute becuase i DONT HAVE THOUGHTS but shes still fucking licking my fucking elbow seriously going on three minutes OH GOD ITS SO COLD ITS SO COLD MY ARM IS SO COLD AND WET wait why am i letting a dog do this is that weird DOG SALIVA HAS TONS OF BACTERIA KILLING AWEOSME IN IT BCAUSE THEY EAT SO MUCH SHIT but i mean i can still smell it boy i hope this dog doesnt eat shit i would be all fucking sorts of pissed (at least three sorts, but no more than seven sorts) if i had a shit smelling left arm all night
she stopped
GOD DAPHNY YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF BUT YOU JUST WENT ON AND ON ABOUT A DOG THAT POSSIBLY HAS SHIT STUCK BETWEEN ITS TEETH MAKING YOUR ARM COLD WITH ITS TONGUE
how come i didnt get a quarter life crisis EVERYONE GOT ONE BUT ME
im gonna visit my mom soon but im just making her buy me a ticket so i can see jesse instead FUCK FAMILY I WANT DEBAUCHERY and also ebrey terrorizing
what hte fuck now shes licking the couch
i guess it is leather?
DOES SHE THINK THE COUCH IS A PERSON
maybe its the only thing at home that shows her warmtha nd comfort so she shows her affection to all couches
SO NOW IM A COUCH-ARM THAT MIGHT SMELL LIKE SHIT WORKING ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND ALSO IM HUNGRY
i think ive found the perfect livejouranl background
its pretty
so is this
HEY MY TEA IS THAT COLOR
MY TEA MATCHES MY BUTT
its pretty obvious what irems best game is, i mean theres not much SELECTION
and all their games are just shitty rip offs of better games, like rtype is just geometery wars and steambot chronicles is OBVIOUSLY imagine robotz
but you cant blame irem for pouring every single drop of creativity into one game
a relaxing simple game
you know games these days are just too cluttered with button after button combination after leveling up after buying equipment maybe i just want to RELAX IN THE SUN adn feel the cool mist of a lake on my face
i just wanna feel the wake created by my sugar daddys motorboat bounce my jigglies up and down on our private lake in my very own paradise
and yes, i DO want to weave between rocks and debris scattered on the surface of my sparkling field of water and foam
because that trash reminds me that even though the world is flawed and ugly i can still put on a bikini and feel beautiful
i can overcome these hardships and let my buttcheeks jiggle freely
and the ugly trash sure makes me look a FUCK OF A LOT BETTER
and what could be better than this soothing 60 mile per hour weaving WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THIS JOYRIDE OF PLEASURE
A FUCKING TITS BUTTON
thats fucking RIGHT
if i feel like showing off my waterskiing prowess and also my fucking hot rack WITH THE SIMPLE PUSH OF A BUTTON I CAN MAKE THIS PARADISE HEAVENLY
oh so its like a superpower right? like you run out? it gives you bonus points?
NO ITS A FUCKING TITS BUTTON so wheneve ryou feel like it you can remind the player that yes YOUR TITS DO BOUNCE JUST AS MUCH AS YOUR ASS IN THIS WATERSPORT
so by now you know that im talking about TROPICAL ANGEL, the hit arcade game of 1983
the game that made everyones summers just THAT MUCH BRIGHTER
the game that said, go ahead, who needs a goal? just enjoy the waves and blue sky of summer
WRONG
tropical angel is NOTHING like the game i speak of
tropical angel is like moving your apartment in a wheelbarrow instead of seducing college students with pizza and pussy to move your apartmetn for you, without shirts, in THEIR OWN TRUCK free of charge
tropical angel is like a nintendo 64 box full of coal
tropical angel is like showing up to school in what you thought were the latest new fashions but you accidentally stepped into a rip in time and are arriving at school 5 months later when your dated wardrobe wouldnt even be accepted by your retarded younger sister as hand me downs
no im fucking talking about
er
NEW TROPICAL ANGEL
ITS COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED
YOU ARE NO LONGER CONFINED TO THE WATERS SURFACE, MERELY GLIDING ACROSS THE SURFACE OF SOME LAKE IS TOO PEDESTRIAN FOR SOMEONE OF YOUR SOCIAL UPBRINGING
YOU’VE GOT AMBITIONS, GOALS, DREAMS you have to reach for those dreams you have to fucking
FOR THOSE DREAMS.
ARRGH SO MANY CONS THIS WEEKEND BUT I WORK FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT
I BEAT A.B. BIKE THIS IS THE END SCREEN
happy boss dance
ps birthday party june 12
pps PARTICIPATE IN THE TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR DUMB LIFE MEME ask me to tak ea fucking picture of something in my life you fucking jerks
dess got a vectrex
so im totally into the vectrex
AND ITS FUCKING OVERLAYS HOLY SHIT AN OVERLAY FOR EVERY GAME ARE YOU KIDDING A LIGHT PEN 3D GLASSES WHY DONT I HAVE ALL OF THESE THINGS PLUGGED INTO ME RIGHT NOW ALWAYS
one of the reasons i love hate twitter is because theres only one way ever to talk about it
AIM
DAPHNY
DID YOU SEE MY TWEET
I TWEETED ABOUT YOU IMING ME ABOUT YOUR TWEETS AND ME IMING YOU ABOUY TEEETS
DID YOU SEE IT
cycle
haha yeah i just saw it
BEST TWEET EVAR
DAPHNY
oh i wasnt sure if you were listening so i tweeted about iming you
cycle
DAPHNY I BOOSHED
DAPHNY
BOOSH AL DAY
CYCLE I RETWEETED YOUR BOOSH
cyclehandsome
I RETWEETED YOUR RETWEET
after which we both drowned in the explosion of semen from our rampant circlejerk, as if ouroboros was a giant dick spurting semen so hard that it propels itself through the endless circle forever
infinite feedback loop
