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i fucking LOVE GORE look out its fgucking GORE

TONGUEDEMON1

this is more by ROBOT JOE

0 Comments Posted by on July 24th 2014 @ 4:47 am

RICHARD HOFMEIER IS REALLY COOL GUYS

HORNS HORNS HORNS HORNS fart HORNS HORNS
DAPHNY FUCKED OFF TO THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
HORNS HORNS DRUMS DRUMS HORNS HORNS HORNS
DID SOME FUCKING, SOME THINKING GOT SHIT OFF MY CHEST
HORNS HORNS HORNS TROMBONES BIG DRUMS

this is the first in an installation of my STUPID TRAVEL FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE AN ADULT DIARIES
this is the first turd in a huge well of shit

washington. vancouver. powell river. washington. portland.
so i just slap my hands willy nilly on twitter, oh, who do i want to hang out with today I WANNA HANG OUT WITH RICHARD HOFMEIER
so i tell richard hofmeier i want to hang out and richard hofmeier makes these hang outs happen. richard gets things done

“i gave you a one way ticket because i figured youd be moving up here”
richard is the biggest defillibrated heart ever just WHACK HERE YOU GO INTENSE TRUE REAL EMOTION and then he slowly drifts away
its also an interesting barometer to see how MY energy affects people ive been known to be wayy too intense tons of times
so much of my traveling has been learning how to make better first impressions, how to FIGURE MY SHIT OUT
he was just so focused on work, and scared about money BECAUSE WHO ISNT and i just worried and worried why are you buying me food oh did i eat too much oh did i drink too much oh did i sleep too much am i ijn the way did i use too much toilet paper
richards house is so spacious and FULL OF LIGHT and it has the BEST WHITE NOISE MAKER right outside which is some shitty WATERFALL PARK literally underneath his window

like
like ITS SO GUSHING LOUD
like its basically the white noise equivalent of my INTERNET CHARICATURE
boy am i from the internet
im the heaviest sleeper ever so it erally doesnt matter
oh richard hofmeier has a toilet trap if you sit on it incorrectly
i really cant figure out which way is correct
it’ll pinch you in the butt
i mean this is the first sentient toilet ive ever encountered, AND IVE HUNG OUT WITH LOOOOOTS OF TOILETS
i sat on the fucker a billion times and it only pinched my ass ONCE

OH YEAH we looked at nancy shit together, NANCY IS THE BEST COMIC EVER ITS BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER heres a tumblr of nancy panels
so yeah we printed out a bunch of them at a kinkos
DID YOU KNOW RICHARD USED TO WORK AT A KINKOS, well hes worked at a lot of kinkos. we went to the only one in seattle that he hasnt worked at!
we printed them out and laminated them and ive been giving them away as NANCY FORTUNES ever since
i keep them in a bag thats some homemade bag form somewhere in seattle. frances (richards partner WHO IS ALSO AWESOME SHE MAKES CHOCOLATE AND HAS GREAT HAIR)
oh! and the first song she starred on spotify was the xiu xiu single DAPHNY
small world!

HERES A BUNCH OF COOL ART IN RICHARDS HOSUE! i gave him that mameshiba its in his bathroom IT WILL WATCH YOU SHIT

oh i dyed my hair pink and stained his goddamn pillow because he let me sleep at his house
BUT HE WAS LIKE ITS OKAY ITS LIKE I GOT YOUR AUTOGRAPH
so richard is fucking cool and compassionate and you should all be his friend
he falls on and off the grid but check out his games if you can find them

ID ONT KNOW YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF ONE OF HTEM, IT WON THE IGF OR SOMETHING I THIKNK IT WAS CALLED FART LIFE????

0 Comments Posted by on July 24th 2014 @ 1:28 am

BREAKUPS AND HOW THEY'VE CHANGED ME

ugghfhgdfhfjgkh okay so ive been unpacking and processing and fucking doing a whole lot lately, so i wanna give a little disclosure to EVERYONE EVER WHO CAN READ THIS

i’ve fucked up, A LOT and fucking up has gotten me broken up with A LOT

and like im realizing you know, from being a non monogamous submissive SLUT that sex can be power for me, and i have abused this power and used to it be lazy, and not work hard enough for my keep

but like what i really wanna talk about is how much breakups hurt, and how they can really tear asunder our feelings about people and make us feel like we HATE them. this resentment is fair and important and true and valid, but its also TEMPORARY

and like, if you’ve hurt someone, they are never EVER EVER obligated to speak to you again, because everyone unpacks and processes at their own pace! this is not your fault, this is how people manage passion and when it goes wrong

theres a lot of talk in my community, the queer poor lower class community about abuse. and i think its fucking wonderful to talk about abuse, and to tell someone when they have been abusive. but i think its also important to NEVER PUT UP BARRIERS TO HEALING for those people who have abused you. like you MUST keep yourself healthy and sane in order to be productive and create change around you, like DUH holy shit duh you dingus!

we are all social creatures, and we are all victims of trauma in one form or another, i mean BEING BORN is like the fucking scariest thing ever but at least we cant remember that shit oh god that would fuck me UP
but we’re also individuals with our own goals and needs, and one of those needs is a social one, because we’re pack animals. i mean i hate to break it to you, but YES WE ARE SOCIAL CREATURES
and when we do our best to stop stepping on others for our own financial gain its eye opening! I RECOMMEND BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING, or dog training, or skateboarding, or making videogames, or music, or movies, or ANYTHING ANY ONE THING THAT REACHES OUT TO ANOYTHER PERSON IS AN ACT OF COMPASSION

we also dont have time for these acts of compassion all the time, and thats why you have to do your best, and just be honest and open. so when you’re at the ultimate lowest of lows you can look to someone else to help you. and you just cant ever forget to keep helping those around you when you’re mentally able!

i recommend this further reading on how to awaken your own compassion for those around you:
the book women, race and class by angela davis (content warning: sexual violence and racism)
the movie EARTHLINGS narrated by Joaquin Phoenix and a soundtrack by moby (content warning: SEVERE animal cruelty)
you should fuckin follow boots riley on twitter, hes a fucking hero

im not going to recommend videogame stuff because most of you know everything about videogames already! but if you DONT i recommend checking out community events like INDIECADE or GAYMERX, they take place in public spaces and try to be open and safe for all. so if you’re lookng for a job in games its always great to reach out at places like this for social networking!

I DONT KNOW I JUST WANT TO APOLOGIZE A LOT AND ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND YELL but i also wanna work hard to help others!

i think its really important to listen up when someone asks you to stop policing a certain thing they do. because FUCK THE POLICE comin straight from the underground

this post is brought to you by my FUCKING PATRONS HERES MY PATREON CHECK OUT MY PATRONS THEY’RE ALL AMAZING PEOPLE , LAUREN FLUTY who got me signed on a lease for this apartment, and everyone whos ever broken up with me

0 Comments Posted by on July 22nd 2014 @ 6:40 pm

I SAID I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT BOOKS BUT IN CELEBRATION OF MY NEW EMAIL ADDRESS (GOTTAGOFAST@SONIC.NET) my friend CHERRY SHOWED ME A ROLLERCOASTER THAT SHE PUT IN GARRYS MOD AND SHE PUT A SONIC CAR ON THE TRACKS AND IT DIDNT GO FAST AT ALL
but thats okay becuase
um
why am i talking about fucking videogames again?!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?

IM JOKING
THIS IS SCIENCE CHECK IT OUT

GOTTASPEEDKEEED

THERE HE IS IN HIS ZIPPY GLORY, the other rollercoaster had LOLOLOLOLOL trailing behind it and then it totally did this fucking amazing ollie right over sonics slow ass fucking parallax head
scrolls indeeed
since scrolls are old and withered and YE OLDE TURTLE HAS WON THE RACE AGAIN

SO LIKE I SAID. SCIENCE.

0 Comments Posted by on July 19th 2014 @ 11:24 am

DAPHNY

i dont have an animated background anymore so TAKE THIS

0 Comments Posted by on July 17th 2014 @ 6:14 pm

IM SELLING SOME BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im gonna post here about a bunch of books and ill update it with prices and how much i am selling said books for. jesus christ its a lot of books here we GO:
CONDITION WARNING: THEY’RE MY BOOKS THEY’VE BEEN LOVED I TAKE CASH ONLY SO IF SOMETHING ISNT UP TO YOUR STANDARDS you dont have to buy it

CEREBUS: COMPLETE missing the first phonebook but i have all the rest of them BONUS ADDED cerebus number zero and a cool melmoth with a cute pic of gerhard on the back
CONDITION: SMELLS KINDA LIKE CAT PEE, BUTTTTTTTTT ITS MEOWZBOWS CAT PEE AND HES DEAD AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE COMIC EVER SOMEONE OFFER ME SOMETHING
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

it only gets better!

OCTOPUS GIRL 1-3 BY TORU YAMAZAKI $30
its pretty cool shes ugly and people make fun of her and then she turns into a fucking octopus and eats everyone! FUCK YOU EAT PEOPLE HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

RED COLOR NEWS SOLDIER by LI ZHENSHENG $15
if youre all like YEAHHH TIANNEMEN SQUARE fuck you this guy took photos under mao put them in a book wrote about them and SHUT UP ABOUT ZIZEK AND MARX AND STALIN for three seconds
omg did daphny say shut up about stalin???? THIS BOOK IS INTENSE AND SHOWS TRUE STRUGGLE, CONTENT WARNING FOR HORRIBLE GENOCIDE givivng me money for this book is THEFT and we will all burn!!!!!!
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

BATMANGA! THE SECRET HISTORY OF BATMAN IN JAPAN
its a pretty cool japanese version of batman dude, i mean its batman what do i have to say? DONT MAKE ME DO THE BATMAN VOICE
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

AEON FLUX THE HERODOTUS FILE mtv books/pocket books/melcher media $5
REMEMBER WHEN COMICS WERE GOOD? me neither! but sometimes good ones slip thrpugh the cracks and the persons fucking name isnt even on the cover of the comic
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

LITTLE BOY: THE ARTS OF JAPAN’S EXPLODING SUBCULTURE $100
its fucking rare and its by takashi murakami he designed your louis vitton bags ten years ago i bought it in japan ok SUPER RARE
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

THE STRANGE TALE OF PANORAMA ISLAND by suehiro maruo $15 SOLD! TO HARVEY FUCKING JAMES THANK YOU HARVEY JAMES
THIS IS NEW AND COOL AND YOU PROBABLHY HAVE IT ALREADY but its big and easy to read and fucking amazing holy shit what a steal
HERE ARE MY COMPETITORS, THE LITERAL REST OF THE INTERNET

MISERY LOVES COMEDY BY IVAN BRUNETTI, 1ST EDITION $50
they’re making a fucking movie out of this comic and if you dont have the first edition your girlfriend will break up with you

this is one bin ONE OUT OF SIX AND ITS NOT EVEN THE WHOLE BIN

i also have a fuckton of pretty-good-but-you-probably-read-them-in-school books! hilarious comics! ONES CALLED JIZZ! WHATS JIZZ? I DUNNO BUT YOU CAN BUY IT YOU CAN BUY IT
please tweet at me for details , email me for details. or you can GOOGLE VOICE ME FOR DETAILS (408) 37COCK6 (yes that is literally my number and hyes i did it on purpose why not it was free!

0 Comments Posted by on July 17th 2014 @ 2:15 pm

Tags: , , , , , , , , .
DOOM BABES

so a quick warning: THE ART IS NOT MINE, MOST OF IT IS BY ROBOT JOE, who is amaaaaaaaazing!!

but basicallly I AM WRITING FAN FICTION OF FANART

doom is not my game, i dont know if you’ve HEARD of it but DOOM belongs to the husband of brenda romero, but its not all his there was a big company and i think tom hall is the coolest

BASICALLY if someone wants to sue over anything libelous or slanderous sue ME
SUE ME DAPHNY DRUCILLA DELIGHT DAVID
i dont know if you know who i am here let me show you who i am? just so you can get your lawyer to chase me down the street, cuz i cant run that fast, and your lawyer probably has a really fucking fast car!!
oh where was i??? >>>>>>>SHIT IM SORRY MY NEXTDOOR NEIGHBORS CAME OVER AND I HAD TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE AMAZING SCHIZOTYPAL EMAILS I GOT ALL WEEKEND!!!<<<<<<<<<
oh so full disclosure: ive never ever beat doom! but i HAVE:
- installed doom on my moms computer with lauren’s copy (they were 2 floppy disks)
- told john romero to cut his hair on twitter WAYY TOO MUCH AND HE BLOCKED ME
- MET brenda and john at a ZYNGA PARTY OF ALL PLACES (I BLAME FRANK LANTZ) with tom hall and i was like oh can i take a picture with you john im the really annoying twitter that YELLS AT YOU TO CUT YOUR HAIR and we did take a picture!
- hung out with brenda at indiecade where i broke my arm and tehn didnt see her again for a year and was like HI BRENDA IM NOT GONNA BREAK MY ARM AGAIN
- FILMED JOHN ROMEROS WIVES read by anna anthropy.
-KRIS LIGMAN
and CARA ELLISON are sitting in front of me. CARA ELLISON WROTE JOHN ROMEROS WIVES oh and also FUCKIN LIZ REYERSON DOOMS MOTHERFUCKING FOREMOST HISTORIAN IS THERE TOO

2679

9
87
68

5798
7
THATS ME BUTTON MASHING IN FRUSTRATION RIGHT NOW

because guess whos sitting next to me, who I WENT THROUGH ANXIETY HELL AND BACK to make sure SHE GOT A GODDAMN SAVED SEAT NEXT TO ME SO SHE COULD SEE THIS SHIT BEING SIAD
yes
yes
BRENDA ROMERO you pitoot wasnt that obvious?????
so im crying and filming this and i think thats why its okay for me to fucking post some goddamn DOOM PORN. BUT, WITH *GIRLS*

(mameshiba voice) did you know? I HAVE TWO DISGUSTING DRAGON BOYFRIENDS! ONE OF THEM DREW TEH PICTURES IN THIS POST!!!!! the ~other~ is that disgusting trash horrible pile that i have NOT. SHUT. UP. ABOUT. ON. TWITTER. hes so cutteeeeeeeeeeee and he actually writes really neat things and streams! sometimes i yell on his streams! WHO IS HE GOSH I WONDER?!?!?!?!? I GUESS ITLL BE A MYSTERY WHO IM CONSTANTLY SCREAMING ABOUT AND PLUGGING while being plugged
whoa
WHOA YOU BETTER BE OVER 18? oh youre not? well over uhh 18 VOLTS. VOLTS I WAS TALKING ABOUT WALL SOCKETS
hi james i love you

ONTO THE ART

IM GOING TO EXPERIMENT WITH WORDPRESS BULLSHIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS

MARCH ON YOUR COCK BECAUSE IM A DOMINATRIX AND YOU'RE VILE

*you walk into a dark empty room, and find a note on the floor*
*picking up the note, which you totally saw, in a totally dark room, you totally read the note*
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: USUALLY I HAVE PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT SEXY DOMINATRIXES BUT THIS ONE OVERWHELEMED ME SO MUCH THAT I AM WELL, IM A BIT TOO TIED UP TO ACTUALLY TELL YOU ABOUT THIS DOOM LADY. I am normally not so much at a loss for words, i mean i mean NNGUGUHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF oh god oh shit sorry i just came, yeah i was fucking the archvile
later
*you put down the note and realize that its not an impossible situation because you’re in a chat room on a computer OH YEAH I WAS JUST PRETENDING
phew!
*you look behind you to make SURE that daphny isnt there*
HI

BRING OUT THE IMP

bring out the gimp, but the gimps sleeping, WELL WHY DONT YOU BRING OUT THE IMP THEN?????? okay you see what im doing here is making a really overquoted pulp fiction reference because everyone knows who the imp is and everyones seen the gif of doomguy fucking the imp. if you havent you wouldnt be reading this

EVERY TIME SHE TRIES TO MAKE OUT HER MOUTH OPENS AND THOSE LOSERS COME OUT

the reason pain elemental is FUCKING DESTROYING YOU CONSTANTLY is because if she ever opened her mouth for a smooch those OBNOXIOUS AWKWARD ANNOYING (those are their names! their christian names by the way, you’ll never hear it from the lost souls though beucase you’ll be too busy getting an earful of LITERALLY EVERY OTHER SOUND EVER)….. whered you go???? oh *jerks off*

THIS ISNT A PAIN ELERENTAL

pain elementals love being fucking LUMPY AS HELL watch her swagger but you wont be watching for LONG because ms elemental is going to fucking BLIND YOU WITH INCREDIBLY HUGE FOLDS OF FAT. and that fat, its fat and its hot oh hothtohtothot BUT ITS ALSO FUCKING BURNING YOU ALIVE. hope you quicksaved

OH BY THE WAY THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY FUCKING GODDAMN PATREON IM DONE SITTING ON WRITING IM BACK IM BACK IM BACK

 

BONUS DANCE PARTY:

BONUS CYBERDEMONESS SPRITE REDESIGN BY THE #DONUTJAM EMPRESS CHERRY
Bra3zfCCUAADZaX

0 Comments Posted by on July 17th 2014 @ 6:51 am

TONIGHT I DID A CRUDE BUSTERS STREAM

BE PREPARED FOR PUNS
BE PREPARED FOR TAKING IT ALL IN
CAN YOU TAKE IT
WILL YOU TAKE IT
TAKE IT
IT GETS REALLY CRUDE

crude buster

(also known as TWO CRUDE DUDES) is a data east arcade and genesis/megadrive game
the theme is post apocalypse
the mechanics are:
JUMP BUTTON
PUNCH BUTTON
TAKE BUTTON

you can pick up everything and throw it
you can THROWWW YOUR FRIEND
in order to get more energy you PUNCH a soda machine and TAKE the soda to REFILL your health

im really into dancing and grunting and posing and nipples and BUSTING and CRUDNESS and I JUST THINK I TAKE A LOT AFTER THIS GAME

warning: it gets crude


Watch live video from ActionButton on TwitchTV

special thanks to tim and kerwin for BEING AWESOME PEOPLE TO PLAY WITH! i guess tahts some ACTION ENTERTAINMENT

0 Comments Posted by on May 6th 2014 @ 7:40 am

favorite

 

 

FROM:

ALSO BEST DESCRIPTION:

Man I am GLAD to be past these two games. Salamander made me SO butthurt. I will probably not play either of these two games ever again. That’s probably what I deserve for playing on the hardest difficulty though.

I RESPECT THIS SO MUCH
maybe not best wordchoice but
FUCK
ITS SO GREAT WHEN PEOPLE ADMIT YES IT IS HAAAAAAAAARD TO GET GOOD AT THESE FUCKING GODDAMN GAMES

0 Comments Posted by on May 5th 2014 @ 3:58 am

WHO IS THIS

WHO WAS I TALKING TO

0 Comments Posted by on May 1st 2014 @ 8:19 am