well HERES PART TWO OF MY PNW TRAVELOUGE: INTERNATIONAL BUISINESS TIME, ITS CANADA ITS FUCKING CANADA TOOT TOOT
well lets see, then WHERE WERE WE! OH YEAH!
soooooooooooooo after spending a few days with horrible dragon boyfriend im like OH GOTTA GET ON A BUS AND VISIT PEOPLE IN VANCOUVER AND POWELL RIVER, so we part ways (BUT NOT FOREVER, THAT COMES LATER)
i buy my boltbus ticket, well ACTUALLY DIZZYJOSH buys it for me! BOLTBUS IS REALLY SKEEZY AND LIKE THEY HAVE NO CENTRAL OFFICES?? BUT THEYRE OWNED BY GREYHOUND??? and they’re SO FUCKING CHEAP like it was 20 bucks for this ticket from seattle to vancouver and i got it only 3 days ahead of time SO IF YOU’RE IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST AND YOU NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE THERE AND YOU DONT DRIVE TAKE A BOLTBUS! or don’t! BUT IF YOU DO TELL THEM I SENT YOU they should give me free rides i bought so many goddamn tickets from them
OH DIZZYJOSH IS AMAZING. he was A CHILD ACTOR but he got out before it could drive him crazy! YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF A SHOW CALLED STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, well you know worfs son? APPARENTLY HIS VOICE CRACKED IN THE SHOW SO THEY STILL NEEDED A SQUEAKY VOICED KID TO OVERDUB HIM AND THATS WHERE DIZZYJOSH CAME IN! he also played young meatloaf in a meatloaf music video! HE LIVES IN
hahahah i tweeted at him to ask him what the video was called so i could post it here and he just took a picture of his rear view mirror and tweeted it at me AND I JUST GOT THAT ITS THE NAME OF HIS FREAKING VIDEO
well yeah so i hop on the boltbus WHICH I MESSED UP AND MY TICKET WAS ACTUALLY FOR THE NEXT DAY but they LITERALLY had one seat open so i got on
FOUR HOURS LATER
a very tired AVERY MCDALDNO picks me up from the greyhound station! they’re amazing they make games like DREAM ASKEW and MONSTER HEARTS if you like roleplaying games with VERY LITTLE BORING MATH you’ll love their games!
oh shit oh shit they’re also working on this AWESOME tv show about magic and transness called THW SWITCH with *actual trans actors* playing TRANS PEOPLE AND THERES MAGIC AND ITS AMAZING look at the cast LOOK AT THEM
OH AND THEY TOOK ME TO THIS REALLY COOL TWIN PEAKS THEMED LODGE called the “black lodge” and the bathroom i went in WAS JUST LIKE THE RED ROOM and they had tables that were logs and i had vegan poutine and a drink called CARIBOU BLOOD adn it came in a tin cup! it was gross and wonderful! OH FUCK I HAD CHERRY PIE TOO OF COURSE
LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM
OH OHOHOHOHOOH SO YEAH VULTURE CITY RULES! I PLAYTESTED IT WITH IVY AND AVERY AND I THINK ITS FUN AND CUTTHROAT. my friend AMIKA IS DOING THE ART FOR IT BECAUSE I INTRODUCED AVERY AND AMIKA
GUESS WHOS BEST PR *POINTS AT OWN FACE*
heres me TWEETING ABOUT HWO COOL THE GAME IS
huff okay so i spent a night at averys and met THE MOST ENERGETIC FIVE YEAR OLD and we got along really well! he respected my pronouns! KIDS ARE FUCKING AMAZING RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT, like i just wanna be every kids cool aunt
THENNNNNNNNNNNNN IT WAS TIME FOR A *FAMILY REUNION* my uncle lived JUST A FEW BLOCKS AWAY from avery so he picked us up from this delicious breakfast place in vancouver that LITERALLY HAS THREE DOLLAR BREAKFASTS AND ITS EGGS, TOAST, MEATS, HASHBROWNS ON A BIG PLATE FOR THREE DOLLARS i love that place im totally going back when im in vancouver again!
my uncle picked us up! OH I WAS HANGING OUT WITH KARL who i yelled at on twitter before, but its alright we’re cool now!
we played a little game of IS THAT YOUR UNCLE of every guy that drove by! because i havent seen him in 19 years! and he shows up all soccer player and smiles and i introduce him to my weirdo friends and then WE GO TO HIS HOUSE
my uncle is cool, heres why:
WHEN I WAS 11 AND VISITED VANCOUVER WITH MY MOM he gave me a copy of william kotzwinkle’s DOCTOR RAT. it is still one of my favorite books ever (why would you give it to an 11 year old though?!?!? its all about a rat that has stockholm syndrome in a lab and is trrying to convince all the rats in a lab that everything thats happening to them is IN THE NAME OF PROGRESS. also the even numbered chapters all take place from the POV of an animal thats suffering! its harrowing but also hilarious and i recommend it BUT I ALSO DONT IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY) kotzwinkle also wrote the script for freddy 4! which is my favorite freddy movie!
oh my god this post is getting long IM SO SORRY but im not done!
also my uncle bought me my first silly hat and i just cant stop wearing silly hats now!
HE DID NOT REMEMBER MY VISIT AT ALL. whic h was fine it was a long time ago, i reminded him of all the cool stuff he did for me and hes like “ohhh yeah i remember thinking ‘daphny will like this book and im glad you didnt tell your mom about it”
SO WE TALKED AND TALKED ABOUT FAMILY HISTORY and i met his sons kiaron and niall, who are both into parkour and skateboarding and shit
heres a poem kiaron wrote!
he told me a bunch of cool stuff about my grandma, and made fun of bono for growing up in the rich part of the town hes from, we called my mom on her birthday and she was very happy and surprised that i was in canada at my uncles house!
we walked around a park together and saw a DOG PROTEST it was rad, and my uncle was complaining about dogs and a bulldog ran up to him and was like HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY and hes like “DAMNIT THEY LOVE ME I DONT LOVE THEM WHY DO THEY LOVE ME” and i just laughed at him
his wife used to work for sarah mclaughlin and founded all these really cool music creation for kids resources but her job fell through and shes looking for work again HER NAME IS ANNA AND SHES A REALLY GOOD MOM
OH AND WHEN I HUNG OUT WITH AMIKA SHE DREW STALIN SMOOCHING ME WHERE IS IT
me and amika just hung out on swings and she told me all about her comic book friendships and OH I MET HER BECAUSE OF MY OLD ROOMATE RYAN, he drew my twitter avatar. you should pay him to draw you a mameshiba HES A GOOD ARTIST PAY HIM FOR IT
THEN IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GET ON A BUS THAT GOT ON A BOAT THAT GOT OFF A BOAT THAT GOT BACK ON A BOAT THAT GOT OFF THE BOAT AGAIN AND GO TO POWELL RIVER FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! i got to hang out with RACHEL AND
oh my god it was so fun here is their dog wearing my sunglasses
HIS NAME IS SUGAR AND HE CONTRIBUTED TO ONE OF MY BEST VINES WHERE I ACCIDENTALLY WAKE HIM UP WITH MY IPAD AND HE SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO IT he was okay though
HERES ME AND RACHEL MEETING AT A TIM HORTONS
WE GOT DONUTS AND TONS OF CHOCOLATE MILK and then went to her TOTALLY CHILL FUCKING AMAZING AWESOME LAZY HOUSE and laid around eating donuts and drinking chocolate milk
their cat is a graceful murderer
I GOT EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE TO PLAY EARTHBOUND if you play earthbound and tweet about it you should use the #MIRTHBOUND tag so i can see it
WELL LOTS OF HANGING OUT AND WALKING AROUND AND VIDEOGAMES LATER and trying to have cybersex with my awful dragon boyfriend and doing homework that he gave me that was just LISTS AND LISTS AND LISTS OF ALL THE EMBARASSING THINGS I WANT HIM TO DO WITH ME
it came up on my birthday! and as per daphny’s birthday tradtition i spent it all day SCREAMING ON TWITER TELLING PEOPLE TO TWEET THINGS AT ME WITH THE #BIRTHDAYPRINCESS HASHTAG
my birthday is a big deal okay, get with the program
I TURNED 30! we went down to the beach but first we went to some silly touristy store for a postcard and some bracelets and the lady that worked there would NOT SHUT UP ABOUT MY SHOES she was nice though just old
WE WENT TO THE BEACH I SAW A BIRD
I SKIPPED STONES
AND ATE CAKE
and made rowan nervous but he really liked me too because he kept wanting to watch me play earthbound and i was always very impressed when he wouild build skyscrapers out of blocks or organize cards or do whatever, he was neat, what a great kid
they’re amazing peopel and if you’re EVER UP THEIR WAY and dont suck horribly you should visit them! powell river is really pretty its just super hard to get to without flying (its a six hour trip from vancouver) BUT THEY’RE TOTALLY WORTH IT
so thats my birthday! NEXT UPDATE WILL BE GOING BACK TO SEATTLE, OLYMPIA AND PORTLAND to meet EVEN MORE AMAZING FUCKING PEOPLE AND hang out with some amazing people ive already mentioned
this post is brought to you by my GENEROUS PATRONS if you like what i do consider clicking that linkand throwing cash at me so i can pay rent, or at least tell all your rich friends to do so
HEY THATS ME ON AN ALBUM COVER, PRETTY COOL HUH
CONTENT WARNING: SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND POLICE BRUTALITY
OKAY SO orange is the new black has been getting a lot of flack, and im going to TELL YOU MY EXPERIENCE IN THE WOMENS PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX and the people who i interacted with within it. this is MY POST MY SITE MY STORY so lets just have that clear.
a while ago i wrote a vice comic with harveyjames about my experiences as a 19 year year old white girl who took too much cough medicine on her 19th birthday and got arrested for stealing videogames and kicking a security guard in the balls, i was young i was stupid i was fucked up and fucked up things were happening aruond me and it got out of hand. i will never deny that shit.
I was raped by a police officer. he will never be punished for this crime, i did not remmember his badge number or remember his name or anything I WAS FUCKED UP AND SCARED AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE SITUATION. thats not what this is about at all, fuck him
the comic is still on vice, and it gets circulated around a bunch and hand waived as SHOCKING OR WHATEVER. before the comic goes full color funtime everything was just as i had written it in my FREAKING LIVEJOURNAL (me and harveyjames were livejouranl friends) and as a gift, as a form of catharsis james wanted to make the comic! he used the image of STALIN RESCUING ME FROM HELL and my harry potter fanfiction to express his appreciation of what i went through and his happiness that im now free
the comic IS SHOCKING. and no i did not actually bite the neck of a police officer and make him bleed. if i did that i would obviously not be here right now
the comic is full of ableist language and sexual violence and ridiculous imagery and hateful speech BECAUSE I WROTE IT A LONG TIME AGO, AND I WAS REGAILING A STORY OF WHEN I WAS FUCKING *NINETEEN YEARS OLD*
also me and harveyjames are thinking of finishing that comic up so people will just shut up about it.
SO ANYWAY the backlash against orange is the new black i witnessed at first was from trans community, but thats because of hte frustration with PRISON SYSTEMS SORTING PEOPLE BY PENIS AND VAGINA. its disgusting, we can agree on that
BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED LAVERNE COX IS ON THE COVER OF TIME MAGAZINE! HOLY SHIT, PROGRESS
then more shit i see in new york times articles and shit is like OH MY GOD THAT SHOW IS SO RIDICULOUS AND THATS NOT WHAT ITS FUCKING LIKE IN PRISON I WENT TO PRISON
hey assholes this is where i educate you.
the first season takes place in WOMENS *FEDERAL* PRISON. did you know theres a heirarchy of prison systems? of course you didnt. and im only saying OF COURSE beucase whenever i say i went to jail people ask me about PRISON and i have to constantly correct people on that bit of information! if you already know thjis, good for you hi five we’re pals.
i’ll break it down for you if you dont know however!
county jail: first time offenders, people waiting to go to prison, people on their way back out of jail
state prison: people in state prison are fucked and barely have a chance to get out again
federal prison: people in jail and prison call federal prison CLUB FED. there was a woman when i was in medium security lockup (for violent or dangerous offenders) who was going to federal prison, and she was like “I CANT WAIT TO EXFOLIATE AND DO YOGA AGAIN, UGH”
the first episode of the second season triggered me. i have NEVER BEEN TRIGGERED like that before, im sure i have been in one way or another. but the first episode of the second season mirrored my own experiences so much that i had to call my awful dragon boyfriend and just listen to him talk until my dissasociative episode fucking ended. thanks dragon boyfriend!
it brought back my horrible memories, of being shackled in chains, in a cage. on a bus full of men, who were screaming and hollering at me and throwing me notes with their phone numbers and grabbing their dicks and they were old and scary and tattooed and I WAS IN A FUCKING CAGE ON DISPLAY, not allowed to speak
so maybe like
anyway im gonna go watch more orange is the new black, peace.
before people wanna open up their fucking mouth and discount peoples experiences just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE?
okay shutting up now
ps be my patreon: CLICK ME CLICK ME CLICK ME
HOA BOOM BOOM BOOM BEAT THE DRUMS ITS TIME FOR DAPHNY TO REGAIL MORE OF HER SILLY SEATTLE ADVENTURES TO YOU, MY WONDERFUL PATRONS AND OF COURSE EVERYONE ELSE WHO CAN READ THIS you dont have to be my patron if you cant afford it BUT WHEN YOU CAN AFFORD IT YOU SHOULD BE MY PATRON DAMNIT
okay im done plugging for now
oh god okay thats horrible dragon boyfriends fault but we dont have to get to him yet
SO OONE OF THE COOLEST FIRST THINGS I DID IN SEATTLE was go to this arcade GAMEWORKS (arcades in public spaces are a rare and wonderful thing, if you have not played competitive or dancing games or takka takka hold the guns shoot the dudes games in a public space TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO DO JUST THIS)
gameworks is cool they have 10 dollar freeplay for like 5 hours every thursday night, its in downtown seattle across the street from THAT CON THAT MUST NOT BE NAMED
yeah! so i met @TRONMAXIMUM , @THUG_MURDER, @PUPPYTUBE , and like three other people who i dont know on twitter yet BUTTHEY WERE COOL we all played games!
i playyyyyyyyyyyyed popn music and my favorite game dance maniax and fighting games and LA MACHINEGUNS which vibrates really hard its super fun
oh yeah OH YEAH @WHATISIAN was there too he made THE FLOOR IS JELLY! we went out to eat at this trash diner OH GOD I HAD THIS HUGE PILE OF GROSS BREAKFAST FOOD SLOSH it was the perfect end to a night though, RICHARD HOFMEIER BOUGHT THAT FOR ME you should read my post about *him* if you havent already RICHARD HURRY UP AND FINISH DAPHNY GAME JEEZ O PETE. just kidding no rush
OHOHOHOOH AND I MET @SAMANTHAZERO and she let us all play SENTRIS which is this badass fucking music game thats noisy as heck adn super colorful and i wanna write about THE GAME ALL ON ITS OWN but she needs to send me a copy
i mean the game doesnt need me to be a hit BUT WHATEVER MOVING ON
oh and fucking @squidlarkin was there too BUT THEY’RE COMING UP LATER HAVE PATIENCE JEEZ
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND THEN I MET MARKUS S. WITHAKAY who i was livejournal friends with like RIGHT WHEN I GOT ON LIVEJOURNAL and we’ve been talking online ever since, and afte rlike what, 13 fucking years we hung out
hes a huge pervert but hes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ashamed BUT HE LET ME SIT IN HIS VIBRATING CHAIR AND SCREAM AND JIZZ AND EMBARRASS MYSELF IN FRONT OF HIS WHOLE DAMN HOUSE which okay it was really hot
whatd he say
oh yeah he was like “man we’d work together mechanically but im just not attracted to you” WHATEVER THATS HIS LOSS hes getting married anyway
but his house is super cool, his brother is this furry gun nut HES A COW MOOO and his roomate is just some dude who smokes a lot of pot and likes movies but they were ALL REALLY GRACIOUS TO ME markus let me sleep there and use his laundry nad he fed me a whole bunch
we played ARCHIPELAGO which is a game about not pissing off natives or pissing them off and stealing from them until they kill you. ITS A COOL GAME YOU SHOULD TRY IT becuase pissing off natives in real life is a big fucking mistake
his brother kept making racist remarks and i think i slapped him or i at least yelled at him
BUT WHTEVER oh i made vines of markus even though hes like DONT PUT ME ON THE INTENRET well guess what markus fuck you ha ha ha you’re on poopdoggyballs dot com NOW YOU FUCKER
thats him in the blue and his gun nut brother
he actually wanted this one online so i can make that small concession I GUESS
OH I GOT TO MEET AJ AGAIN who i *ALSO* KNOW FROM LIVEJOURNAL, he almost died of a horrible staph infection in his leg once and hes irish and has a really great voice listen to it
THE LAST TIME I WAS IN SEATTLE WE DID HELLA MUSHROOMS and i was yelling down a hole becuase i didnt know about the UNDERGROUND CITY
i saw a hole in teh ground and i was like OH MY GOD ARE YOU TRAPPED DOWN THERE DO YOU NEED ANY HELP I CAN DROP SOME CHANGE OR MAYBE A LIGHTER DOWN THE HOLE BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET TO YOU IM SORRY
oh mushrooms are ridiculous!
THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN i got to hang out with PAMI! pami is my friend from HIGHSCHOOL we lived together a while ago, shes my adoptive daughter and she just got out of a SHIT SHIT SHIT marriage and is now with someone who fucking loves her and treats her like the amazing fucking person she is
hes cool his name is scott! he drives around and works out a lot and pami deserves him
this is pami telling a story about throwing a rock at someones head
I MET THIS DOG AND ACCUSED HIM OF CRIME he was eating an earplug!!! thats a crime!!!!! DONT EAT EARPLUGS
THEN I MET MICHAEL FITZGERALD WHO IS @tuberqlosis ON TWITTER
he took me to TACOMA and told me about how andy warhol wanted to paint a flower of the tacoma dome. he damn well should have its a ugly grey eyesore, and a shame becuase theres a huge mountain in view of it
markus made me take a vine of him because if he murdered me markus really really wanted to keep my ankle
DIDNT GET MURDERED THOUGH MIKE ACTUALLY RULES
we went to an arcade and the arcade was closed but it didnt matter becuase he showed me THIS SHIT AT A PARK
LOOK AT THAT MOUNTAIN and that cool fucking twin peaks motherfuckin logmill YEAH YEAH GRIND ME UP AND SPIT ME OUT not really i have to write for now
so michael took me to this bar becuase one of the tables is a door and it was right near where we were SUPPOSED to go
and pami and scott show up to hang out again (they live in puyallup)
then MY GREAT FRIENDS MADDOX
oh god maddox
OKAY LETS PREFACE THIS
MADDOX IS JUST
GOD DAMNIT THEY HAVE THIS GLARE AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME JUMP OUT OF MY CHAIR, WALK OUT THE DOOR, WALK INTO ANOTHER DOOR AND RUN INTO THE BATHROOM SCREAMING
OH IT WAS BECUASE MADDOX -AND- DRAGON BOYFRIEND WERE DOUBLE TEAMING ME WITH STARES
it was just too much
AEVEE RULES TOO! AEVEE WRITES ZEAL AND IS @MAMMONMACHINE ON TWITTER AND LIVES ACROSS THE HALL FROM MADDOX tehy are a FUCKING POWER PAIR. did you know that fire emblem is to aevee be as animal crossing is to DAPH A KNEE?
well its true so you should listen to what she says
THEN I WENT TO OLYMPIA TO HANG OUT WITH MADDOX AND AEVEE AND THEIR CAT PRESTON WHO CELEBRATED HIS 13TH BIRTHDAY!!!! we watched jojo!
if you havent heard of jojos bizarre adventure youre doing it wrong, and if you havent watched ANY OF IT EVER youre doing it TRIPLE WRONG
look at this shit
oh that voice acting is me, DID YOU KNOW IVE DONE VOICE ACTING IN *VIDEOGAMES* im loud and proud and you can always hire me to yell more! WAIT I SAID ID STOP PLUGGING MYSELF
hehehehe OH MY GOD DAPHNY GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER
im such a trubbish
then i lost another tooth! LOOK OUT IM SPITTING UP BLOOD its okay im excited for when i fix my teeth and have a huge metal grill and bite people, but only if they consent to it of course
OH WELL im gonna wrap this leg of my trip up with dragon boyfriend i guess!
AND THEN I WAS LIKE WHO WANTS TO FUCKING HANG OUT and some nerd with a bald man avatar shows up on twitter and is like ‘me i wanna hang out’
and im like DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR AVATAR
and he just said “hmm.”
and i was like OH MY GOD ARE YOU HITTING ON ME WHAT THE FUCK and he said no
adn then i was like OKAY WELL IM THE ONE WITH A HAT THAT LOOKS LIKE MY AVATAR MEET ME IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE ITS A FAR WALK and we met outside some target and he said that my voice was a lot higher pitched than what he imagined it to be
AND IM LIKE NO WHAT IM THE MOST SHRILL HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN VIDEOS OF ME ON THE INTENRET JEEZ IM DAPHNY
and hes the editor in chief for some dumb eve website and has been involved with tigsource for a while
LIKE HES BASICALLY A HUGE NERD
and he showed me trailer park boys and caught on to my obsession with looking at houndstooh (I GET REALLY TURNED ON BY CERTAIN PATTERNS)
and i wriggled and yelled a lot and it was time for bed so he was like YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY BED IF YOU WANT and im like WELL IM NOT SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR
which was nice of him! cuz he never met me! i could be A MURDERER but i guess ive met a lot of people from the internet, so most people know that im harmless UNLESS YOU MAKE ME MAD THEN IM REALLY OUT OF CONTROL so dont make me mad, im doing my best not to get mad anymore anyway
BUT YEAH uh it was kind of accidental???? like i just see boners and am like GIMMIE GIMMIE and he was into it and OH OH OH I MADE HIM DO A DARKSIDEPHYL impression
hes basically ridiculous, but hes incredibly patient with me which is a rare quality in people!! i mean he could get fed up with me someday but im not really worried about it! cuz we have a safeword and i can use it whenever i want *wiggles butt*
OH HE DRINKS A LOT OF FUCKING TEA but me and pami helped clean up his apartment and i yelled at him STOP FUCKING FEELING BAD FOR ME DOING YOUR DISHES JESUS CHRIST IT TURNS ME ON DONT YOU GET IT
i think he gets it now! but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay okay okay im done with this post! BUT IM NOT DONE WITH MY TRIP i think it’ll be in TWO MORE installments
guys this is my dream job, doing these things, writing about them, showing them to you. if you appreciate this at all please get the word out that i need to pay rent
thanks for helping me become an adult! i WOULD NOT BE HERE without any of you
a while ago i made a bunch of julia child vines nad people liked them so here they all are in one place for your VIEWING PLEASURE
salo – inspired by a story by marquis de sade ITS A MOVIE ABOUT ITALIAN FASCISTS PUTTING CHILDREN INTO SLAVERY theres this great scene where one of the kids has to eat cake and its FULL OF NAILS also the poop they eat in the movie is just mandarin oranges covered in chocolate
intacto – italian movie about gambling! the premise is luck is something you gain when tons of people die around you
holy mountain – THE MOVIE OF MOVIES its my favorite its about searching for everlasting life and theres a really great scene at the end OH MAN jordowosky is the reason that killing people is ILLEGAL
el topo – a movie iwth jordowosky and his son its based on spaghetti westerns and theres no dialogue for like hte first half hour of hte movie, super amazing
santa sangre – A MOVIE ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK YOUR MOM that is all about gaslighting and oh its got tons of blood theres a great elephant nosebleed in it
dance in reality – so all three of those movies i mentioned before are like ARTISTIC ALLEGORIES for his family life and growing up and he made dance in reality to show that THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED OK and his actual family is in the movie, its good! i saw it in the theatre and i was laying ona couch and kicking and screaming and hooting and hollering
dying of laughter – a movie about two comedians and ones the straight man and the other is the wacky dude, its all about hteir struggle for co-existing and the shti they go through together
sweet movie – ALSO THE BEST MOVIE this one is hard ot explain but theres a woman in it who gets put in a suitcase and shipped off around the world and then like when she makes it shes lying in a pile of chocolate while people photograph her hahahaha
hausu – I THINKY OU’VE SEEN HAUSU EVERYONES SEEN HAUSU but all the deaths in the movie were written by the directors daughter, and she was like fucking EIGHT when she wrote it. so good! THE CHARACTERS HAVE NAMES LIKE FANTASY, KUNG FU, MAC, PROFESSOR, GOREGOUS, MELODY
kikujiro – a story about this abandoned kid who an ex gangster (BEAT TAKESHI, you may have heard of him he made BEAT TAKESHI’S CHALLENGE and also demanded to be a living national treasure. japants said no and he was like WELL WHAT ABOUT THE DEER THEY’RE A TREASURE TOO)
HORNS HORNS HORNS HORNS fart HORNS HORNS
DAPHNY FUCKED OFF TO THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
HORNS HORNS DRUMS DRUMS HORNS HORNS HORNS
DID SOME FUCKING, SOME THINKING GOT SHIT OFF MY CHEST
HORNS HORNS HORNS TROMBONES BIG DRUMS
this is the first in an installation of my STUPID TRAVEL FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE AN ADULT DIARIES
this is the first turd in a huge well of shit
washington. vancouver. powell river. washington. portland.
so i just slap my hands willy nilly on twitter, oh, who do i want to hang out with today I WANNA HANG OUT WITH RICHARD HOFMEIER
so i tell richard hofmeier i want to hang out and richard hofmeier makes these hang outs happen. richard gets things done
“i gave you a one way ticket because i figured youd be moving up here”
richard is the biggest defillibrated heart ever just WHACK HERE YOU GO INTENSE TRUE REAL EMOTION and then he slowly drifts away
its also an interesting barometer to see how MY energy affects people ive been known to be wayy too intense tons of times
so much of my traveling has been learning how to make better first impressions, how to FIGURE MY SHIT OUT
he was just so focused on work, and scared about money BECAUSE WHO ISNT and i just worried and worried why are you buying me food oh did i eat too much oh did i drink too much oh did i sleep too much am i ijn the way did i use too much toilet paper
richards house is so spacious and FULL OF LIGHT and it has the BEST WHITE NOISE MAKER right outside which is some shitty WATERFALL PARK literally underneath his window
like ITS SO GUSHING LOUD
like its basically the white noise equivalent of my INTERNET CHARICATURE
boy am i from the internet
im the heaviest sleeper ever so it erally doesnt matter
oh richard hofmeier has a toilet trap if you sit on it incorrectly
i really cant figure out which way is correct
it’ll pinch you in the butt
i mean this is the first sentient toilet ive ever encountered, AND IVE HUNG OUT WITH LOOOOOTS OF TOILETS
i sat on the fucker a billion times and it only pinched my ass ONCE
OH YEAH we looked at nancy shit together, NANCY IS THE BEST COMIC EVER ITS BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER heres a tumblr of nancy panels
so yeah we printed out a bunch of them at a kinkos
DID YOU KNOW RICHARD USED TO WORK AT A KINKOS, well hes worked at a lot of kinkos. we went to the only one in seattle that he hasnt worked at!
we printed them out and laminated them and ive been giving them away as NANCY FORTUNES ever since
i keep them in a bag thats some homemade bag form somewhere in seattle. frances (richards partner WHO IS ALSO AWESOME SHE MAKES CHOCOLATE AND HAS GREAT HAIR)
oh! and the first song she starred on spotify was the xiu xiu single DAPHNY
HERES A BUNCH OF COOL ART IN RICHARDS HOSUE! i gave him that mameshiba its in his bathroom IT WILL WATCH YOU SHIT
oh i dyed my hair pink and stained his goddamn pillow because he let me sleep at his house
BUT HE WAS LIKE ITS OKAY ITS LIKE I GOT YOUR AUTOGRAPH
so richard is fucking cool and compassionate and you should all be his friend
he falls on and off the grid but check out his games if you can find them
ID ONT KNOW YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF ONE OF HTEM, IT WON THE IGF OR SOMETHING I THIKNK IT WAS CALLED FART LIFE????
ugghfhgdfhfjgkh okay so ive been unpacking and processing and fucking doing a whole lot lately, so i wanna give a little disclosure to EVERYONE EVER WHO CAN READ THIS
i’ve fucked up, A LOT and fucking up has gotten me broken up with A LOT
and like im realizing you know, from being a non monogamous submissive SLUT that sex can be power for me, and i have abused this power and used to it be lazy, and not work hard enough for my keep
but like what i really wanna talk about is how much breakups hurt, and how they can really tear asunder our feelings about people and make us feel like we HATE them. this resentment is fair and important and true and valid, but its also TEMPORARY
and like, if you’ve hurt someone, they are never EVER EVER obligated to speak to you again, because everyone unpacks and processes at their own pace! this is not your fault, this is how people manage passion and when it goes wrong
theres a lot of talk in my community, the queer poor lower class community about abuse. and i think its fucking wonderful to talk about abuse, and to tell someone when they have been abusive. but i think its also important to NEVER PUT UP BARRIERS TO HEALING for those people who have abused you. like you MUST keep yourself healthy and sane in order to be productive and create change around you, like DUH holy shit duh you dingus!
we are all social creatures, and we are all victims of trauma in one form or another, i mean BEING BORN is like the fucking scariest thing ever but at least we cant remember that shit oh god that would fuck me UP
but we’re also individuals with our own goals and needs, and one of those needs is a social one, because we’re pack animals. i mean i hate to break it to you, but YES WE ARE SOCIAL CREATURES
and when we do our best to stop stepping on others for our own financial gain its eye opening! I RECOMMEND BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING, or dog training, or skateboarding, or making videogames, or music, or movies, or ANYTHING ANY ONE THING THAT REACHES OUT TO ANOYTHER PERSON IS AN ACT OF COMPASSION
we also dont have time for these acts of compassion all the time, and thats why you have to do your best, and just be honest and open. so when you’re at the ultimate lowest of lows you can look to someone else to help you. and you just cant ever forget to keep helping those around you when you’re mentally able!
i recommend this further reading on how to awaken your own compassion for those around you:
the book women, race and class by angela davis (content warning: sexual violence and racism)
the movie EARTHLINGS narrated by Joaquin Phoenix and a soundtrack by moby (content warning: SEVERE animal cruelty)
you should fuckin follow boots riley on twitter, hes a fucking hero
im not going to recommend videogame stuff because most of you know everything about videogames already! but if you DONT i recommend checking out community events like INDIECADE or GAYMERX, they take place in public spaces and try to be open and safe for all. so if you’re lookng for a job in games its always great to reach out at places like this for social networking!
I DONT KNOW I JUST WANT TO APOLOGIZE A LOT AND ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND YELL but i also wanna work hard to help others!
i think its really important to listen up when someone asks you to stop policing a certain thing they do. because FUCK THE POLICE comin straight from the underground
this post is brought to you by my FUCKING PATRONS HERES MY PATREON CHECK OUT MY PATRONS THEY’RE ALL AMAZING PEOPLE , LAUREN FLUTY who got me signed on a lease for this apartment, and everyone whos ever broken up with me
I SAID I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT BOOKS BUT IN CELEBRATION OF MY NEW EMAIL ADDRESS (GOTTAGOFAST@SONIC.NET) my friend CHERRY SHOWED ME A ROLLERCOASTER THAT SHE PUT IN GARRYS MOD AND SHE PUT A SONIC CAR ON THE TRACKS AND IT DIDNT GO FAST AT ALL
but thats okay becuase
why am i talking about fucking videogames again?!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?
THIS IS SCIENCE CHECK IT OUT
THERE HE IS IN HIS ZIPPY GLORY, the other rollercoaster had LOLOLOLOLOL trailing behind it and then it totally did this fucking amazing ollie right over sonics slow ass fucking parallax head
since scrolls are old and withered and YE OLDE TURTLE HAS WON THE RACE AGAIN
SO LIKE I SAID. SCIENCE.